Listening: Rediscovering connection in a noisy world
I am exploring 12 words this year - one every month to savour. You can think of each blog post in this series as a mini-guide, connected to the season and full of both the magical & the practical. This month, explore listening and rediscover connection - to yourself, to others, and the Earth. There are also two online rest circles for you to attend. I’d love to have you join!
“Listening moves us closer, it helps us become more whole, more healthy, more holy.”
As a mama of two young adult children, I’ve learned a lot about listening and how sometimes I am really bad at it.
I want to advise them, to coach them, to sound wise.
“They don’t want our solutions!” my husband Thom and I often sigh and exclaim, “But we have over 112 years of wisdom between the two of us!”
What they want is something simpler and yet much harder to do.
Margaret Wheatley writes that “listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don’t have to do anything else.
We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.”
Listening feels spacious. Listening creates relationship. It’s not always easy to do.
It whispers tell me more.
Reflections on Listening
This is an increasingly noisy era.
People shout at each other in print, at work, on TV. I believe the volume is directly related to our need to be listened to. In public places, in the media, we reward the loudest and most outrageous. People are literally clamoring for attention, and they'll do whatever it takes to be noticed. Things will only get louder until we figure out how to sit down and listen. Most of us would welcome things quieting down. We can do our part to begin lowering the volume by our own willingness to listen.
-Margaret Wheatley, Listening as Healing
Coming Home
Walking into the snow
we speak in plain language.
This is all I need.
What could be more important
to say to each other than,
How are you doing?
and then take the time
to really listen to the answer,
and to the answer beneath
the answer.
Here, darling, let me
listen to your heart.
Let’s close the computers,
and mute the phones
and hush the long list
of things to do and sit
here together and listen.
We can be alone wherever we are.
Any part of me that wants
to fix you, I will invite it to still.
Any part of me that wants to debate,
I will notice it and allow it to fall.
I will not say anything
at all, except perhaps I’ll hum.
Maybe nothing will happen.
And maybe as the elders say,
we will be changed
forever.
-Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
Listening to Earth
When I spend time outside, I try to listen to the voices of the earth; the breeze, the leaves rustling, the birds singing or making a louder than expected noise while walking in the fallen red leaves, the creek flowing over mossy stones, the hawk's cry. In this way, my body feels and witnesses what is occurring near my home. This daily immersion in the world around me with a listening approach offers a way to enter a quieter and slower engagement with life. I am always surprised by how much more I see and experience when I slow down and listen.
-Susan O'Connell
Prompts for deeper reflection
What is your relationship to listening?
Take some time to reflect on these questions.
How do I make space in my day/week to listen to myself?
What seeds are incubating within me that long to be listened to?
When was the last time I sat outside and simply listened?
What do I notice when I listen to the February Earth?
Is there something I can let go of to enter more fully into a listening relationship with the land?
How do I listen to the animals around me?
How does it feel in my body when I am listened to? How do I know that I have been heard?
How does it feel in my body to listen and not give advice…even when I am tempted to?
What is my “go to” response when I hear a perspective that is not aligned with my own values or beliefs? Am I able to listen?
What would happen if I woke up each February morning and began the day by listening?
A Simple Practice
Several times a day, stop and just listen.
Open your hearing 360 degrees, as if your ears were giant radar dishes. Listen to the obvious sounds, and the subtle sounds — in your body, in the room, in the building, and outside. Listen as if you had just landed from a foreign planet and didn't know what was making these sounds. See if you can hear all sounds as music being played just for you.
-Jan Chozen Bays
A Scent for Listening
Vetiver (Vetiveria zizanoides) essential oil shines as a tool to anchor your awareness to the present moment, inviting you to let go of distractions and immerse yourself in the here and now.
Its calming properties make it an excellent tool for deep listening. Its rich, grounding scent can help alleviate stress, reduce anxiety, and foster a sense of calm.
To learn more about vetiver essential oil, read the blog post: A Scent for Grounding Yourself
Vetiver Diffuser Blend
To infuse your space with the soothing benefits of Vetiver, try this simple diffuser recipe:
4 drops Vetiver Oil (Vetiveria zizanoides)
3 drops Patchouli Oil(Pogostemon cablin)
3 drops Sweet Orange Oil (Citrus sinensis)
Fill your diffuser with water according to its instructions.
Add the specified drops of Vetiver, Patchouli, and Orange essential oils.
Turn on the diffuser. Always diffuse intermittently - 30 minutes on and 60 minutes off.
Seek stillness regularly, guard it like a rare treasure, honour it by showing up with attention, and never apologize for needing it. Your voice wants to be heard. But it can’t be heard above the noise. Be still and listen.
-Heather Plett
